Once upon a time!
That is how my waka waka legs carried me to Anambra state two days ago. Don’t ask me what I went there to do, just enjoy the story.
So, I travelled from enugu and the first thing I noticed after we passed the ‘welcome to Anambra’ sign was a line up of local bars. (read this sentence in pidgin) Igbo people too like enjoyment 😉
A little further down, the road became local bars free and my God! They have beautiful Street lamps (I didn’t say they are working, I didn’t stay long enough to find out. People who live there can tell us about it).
Then, another amazing discovery was, Anambra men no dey see fine woman commot eye lol….. First hand experience. However, I appreciate the fact that they are more cautious in their approach. They weren’t suuuuuu suuuuuimg like Enugu guys 😁…. You may not really understand the suuuuu suuuu gist, just read up My Nysc Experience 1 and you will understand https://beeokekwue.wordpress.com/my-nysc-experience/?preview=true
Anyway, I had to see someone for something. When I got there, there were quite a number of us waiting. I left my house by 6:30am. When I got there, I met some of my friends and I was still forming fine girl, fresh ex corper, I can’t stand for too long and all. Until I waited till 2pm and the lady we were waiting for had not arrived.
Hunger began to show its true colors, the sun was beating down on us like a bata drum and I was sweating like I was going to faint and guess what! there was nowhere for me to get food (actually there was, it was really far and my atm card was acting up).
Then by 3pm,the madam shows up yayyyyyyyy!!! No yayyyyy actually because she took her time to go round and “sort out issues”. Then she asked us to come to her office and line up in front. I wonder why with my trainings in my first year in the University of Lagos on how to fight for seat and attendance and also in law school when we had to sign in and out, I still haven’t learnt the art of hustling to be in front of a queue, I think I’m an Ajebutter by blood 😁 . When I was there contemplating whether to fight for the front or jejely go to the end of the queue, I realized that my friend who is a born hustler 😁 was already second on the queue. I wonder how cos we were standing together. Now this is the most interesting part, he wasn’t there to see the woman. I think it was instinct to hustle lol…. Or maybe he just did it for me because I automatically got that spot and he left the queue.
Madam decided she wanted to have lunch which took another 30 years, then she came out with a lady, “Oh! My people, I am so sorry this lady has been waiting for me, let me just quickly see her off”, (that speech was in igbo btw). That of course took another 15 years. People were already getting tired and sitting down. But me? I refused to move or sit o. I just didn’t want stories and by this time, I had pains all over my body and I was going to faint. Meanwhile, people were there backbiting each other, trying to convince the next person to just go home and discredit others. Wonderful Nigerians. It was funny, you ask a simple question and it is interpreted as bad belle. I was just concentrating on staying alive. My dear friend offered me water. Madam came back and apologized again that she’ll see us soon but that took another 10 years. So it was was about 6pm when she attended to us. And what did she want? NOTHING! Just to see you and take down your name. I wanted to cry (but then, I’m a big girl). Is this why I waited the whole day? Phew!
I was exhausted! All I wanted was my house and bed which are of course in Enugu state. So my journey back began, quite drama free except that the transport fare went up by N200. Gala and sprite saved the day. Enjoy your weekend 😘